The Five Stages of Grief

Grief is a universal experience. It can manifest itself differently for everyone depending on their personality. However, having a clear understanding of the process of grief can help provide clarity and support.  You can process your grief using a widely recognized framework. People navigate grief using the Kubler-Ross model. This is a method that breaks grief down into five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

Let’s explore these stages in detail. We emphasize that grief is deeply personal and doesn’t follow strict order. In other words, your grief may not be linear during the process.  You may find yourself going through the stages at different times. You may even re-visit a stage repeatedly. There is not just one way to process your grief. So, give yourself a break.

Here is a breakdown of each stage:

1. Denial: Shock and Disbelief

The first reaction to your loss is often denial or even disbelief. This stage acts as a defense mechanism to shield us from something that is overwhelming you.

What this may look like:

• You may feel numb or even detached.

• You might even say things like, "This can't be happening."

• You may even refuse to acknowledge the loss.

Denial gives a person the distraction so that we have time to process the initial shock. Going through this stage will allow a person to begin the journey of healing.

2. Anger: Frustration and Questioning

Soon the denial will fade, and you may experience unexplainable anger. This is the stage that will often bring frustration. It is common to ask questions like, “Why me?” or “Why did this happen?”

What this may look like:

• You may find yourself directing your anger at others or directing it at yourself. You may even find yourself angry at the person who passed away.

• You may feel resentment towards life or circumstances.

• You may seek out someone or something to blame.

Anger can feel overwhelming, but it’s a natural part of the grieving process. Anger can help to release pent-up emotions.

3. Bargaining: Trying to Regain Control

When you reach bargaining stage, a person is attempting to regain control of the situation. They may be trying to change the outcome by thinking, “What if…” or “If only…” scenarios.

What this may look like:

• You may try making promises or deals to reverse the loss.

• You may find that you begin obsessing about past events to find ways you might be able to change the outcome.

Bargaining is often accompanied by guilt. However, it may also signify a deeper acknowledgment of the loss.

4. Depression: Deep Sadness and Reflection

Depression marks the stage where the weight of the loss is truly setting in for a person. This phase can often the most difficult phase for a person.

What this may look like:

• You may experience feelings of emptiness and hopelessness.

• You may withdraw from loved ones or even the activities you once enjoyed.

• You may experience physical symptoms, such as,  fatigue, insomnia, or loss of appetite.

Even though this is the most painful stage, it is still one of the most crucial parts of coming to terms with the reality of the loss that you have experienced.

5. Acceptance: Finding a Way Forward

When a person at the acceptance stage that doesn’t mean they are forgetting or “getting over” the loss.  It simply means that they are acknowledging the loss and finding a way to live with it.

What this may look like:

• You will begin to adjust to a new routine without your loved one.

• You will begin to find meaning or purpose despite the loss.

• You will start having moments where you will feel peace or even hope.

Acceptance is a sign of healing, but it doesn’t mean the person’s grief will disappear. Instead, it will allow the grief to evolve.

Grief Is Not Linear

While the Kubler-Ross model offers a helpful structure, it’s important to remember:

The stages are not sequential. You may revisit certain stages over and over or you may skip other stages altogether. A person’s grief is as unique as their personality. A person’s experience will depend on their relationship to the loss, their personality, and even how much support they may have. Healing from a loss takes a person time. Please remember that there is no “right” way to grieve. You are on you own timeline when you are grieving.

Supporting Yourself or Others Through Grief

Here are some actionable steps to take when grieving:

• Allow yourself to feel: Suppressing emotions can delay healing.

• Seek support: Connect with friends, family, or a therapist.

• Practice self-care: Exercise, rest, and nourishing food can aid recovery.

• Be patient: Give yourself grace as you navigate the process.

Understanding the five stages of grief can be a comforting guide during one of life’s most challenging journeys. While grief never truly “ends,” with time and support, it’s possible to find hope and healing. You  may still find that you are struggling with you grief.

Horizons Therapy at Cinco Ranch Katy, TX

If you're ready to explore therapy or talk therapy, reach out to a qualified mental health professional today to begin your healing journey. Horizons Therapy at Cinco Ranch provides divorce counseling or coaching to all kinds of people. To begin counseling in Texas, please follow these steps:

1.      Contact Katherine Lickteig at Grow Therapy:  https://growtherapy.com/book-appointment?id=39063&utm_source=provider-sourced&utm_medium=booking-link&utm_campaign=provider-dashboard  set up an appointment or to learn more about Divorce therapy,

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